Before, during or after?

At what point around an anxiety-inducing event do you feel nervous - before, during or after?

Image by Ismael Juan on vecteezy.com

If you’re nervous BEFORE, maybe you fear confrontation or exposure. You might have assumptions or old trauma. You can work on breathing to calm yourself. Pace the space. Shake it out. Sing and dance. Tell a joke in a stupid voice to yourself in the mirror. Amuse yourself!

If you're nervous DURING, you might have an active amygdala; our brains can't distinguish between real or perceived threat. Regulate your breathing. Smile and look at someone specific - a friendly face. Put your hands where people can’t see them shaking.

If you're nervous AFTER, you could be feeling regret or shame from having possibly made yourself look silly (you didn't). Positive self-talk and self-care help. Breathe deep, take a stroll. Reflect on whether it’s a shame response triggered by adrenaline and cortisol. Phone a friend.

Which do you identify with most often – before, during or after?